There’s a Better Way to Parent: Less Yelling, Less Praise
This article, written by Joe Pinsker and published in The Atlantic, references parenting practices throughout the world, The author suggests that families who give children a “VIP Card” (ie, adults center their activities around their children) rather than a “Family Membership Card” (i.e., children are integrated into the family’s activities) do children a disservice. “In these fake, childlike worlds, the child is separated from reality in some ways—they don’t learn how to behave as an adult.”
Teaching social skills to youth
This book is written by Boy's Town Press -- Boy's Town is a home for young kids and teens who have a variety of struggles, and this book has been updated many times over the years, and explain in detail the exact skills on which the houseparents are working with the children in care. These are tried - and - true, effective social skills that teens can use right away in a variety of situations.
To Raise Happy Kids, Put your Marriage First
This book makes the case that marriages need to be prioritized over the desires of the children. The reasons for this include: setting a good example for the children about what healthy marriage looks like; avoiding raising entitled kids; and investing in the health of your future marital relationship.
Emotional Skills Building for Teens
This fun and engaging activity book helps to teach teens to manage emotions and develop relationships. Activities in this book will help regulate strong emotional responses which can lead to impulsivity, unstable relationships, low self-image and reactive emotions.
Author John Townsend explains principles for the challenging task of guiding your children through the teen years.
· Deal with disrespectful attitudes and impossible behavior in your teen
· Set healthy limits and realistic consequences
· Be loving and caring while establishing rules
· Determine specific strategies to deal with problems both big and small
· Discover how boundaries make parenting teens more effective and more fun.
Love and Logic Method
The "Love and Logic" parenting system is extremely effective, and works for all ages (even young adult offspring!). This system enhances relationships between parents and children because it reduces (or eliminates!) power struggles, allowing parents to provide gentle guidance to children who are learning to make responsible choices. It allows parents a kind, gentle, firm way of teaching children the skills they desperately need, such as flexibility, resiliency and personal responsibility.
Parenting Teens with Love and Logic
This book by Foster Cline and Jim Fay is a practical parenting guide that emphasizes setting loving yet firm boundaries to help teenagers develop responsibility, self-discipline, and decision-making skills. The book advocates for a balance between empathy and accountability, encouraging parents to let natural consequences teach valuable life lessons rather than resorting to punishment or control.
Key principles include:
Shared Control: Giving teens choices within limits to foster independence.
Natural Consequences: Allowing teens to experience the results of their actions rather than shielding them.
Empathy Before Discipline: Responding with understanding rather than anger to help teens learn from mistakes.
Setting Limits Without Anger: Using enforceable statements and consistency to avoid power struggles.
The Love and Logic approach aims to help parents maintain a positive relationship with their teens while guiding them toward responsible adulthood.
For younger children:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching children responsibility
Parenting with Love and Logic for Early Childhood
Staying focused on what we can control
1-2-3 Magic
For little kids (ages 1-7), the Love and Logic system works well in conjunction with 1-2-3 Magic.
The advantage of these two systems is that corrections and boundaries are matter-of-fact. They encourage a non-emotional response from the parents with regard to enforcing consequences for the kids' choices. I think this works well because parents would know what to do in any given situation, and would be able to avoid arguments. From there, we could practice tone of voice and volume.
123 Magic, by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan
Article: Applications of 1-2-3 Magic: Setting kind boundaries for kids without power struggles or guilt
Janet Lansbury: Respectful Child Care for Toddlers podcast (and articles)
Boys Town emotion management skills worksheets for kids and teens